Making Ready, or Working Really Damn Hard to Stay Calm

Well, here we are, about midway through my last hurrah.

Again.

I seem to find a reason to have "last hurrahs" about every three months, so I suppose the term carries less weight than it should in my case, but boy if this one isn't hitting home.

A year is a long time.

I've enjoyed the time spent with old friends so far this month. Some I've seen often enough in the last few years. Others I haven't seen in five.

And no one's fault but mine.

But they've all been gracious, said they'd miss me, shown me a good time. Choosing to evacuate myself from the day to day lives of friends so loyal--well, I can't say it's any sort of easy.

Odd as it is, though, the thing that might have struck me most concerns the new people I've met, the members of my dad's new church, the coincidental acquaintances, the friends-of-friends I'd never known... for the most part they've been just as welcoming, and some of them have been so intriguing, fun, a flat out blast to be with...

Is it me, or are people suddenly a lot more interesting?

I have to think a part of it is the knowledge that I won't be having conversations like these with new people in a few weeks. I won't be introduced to new people by friends I've known for a decade or more, and I won't even know for sure if they speak my language.

Maybe it's also the knowledge--or perhaps regret is a better word--that I don't have enough time to figure out if these new acquaintances could become friends as strong as the wonderful few I'm blessed enough to have. Not enough time, not enough energy to explore where I never would have hesitated otherwise. Just one more thing to add to it, then.

Hell, might even be it's just the quality of the people themselves. Lord knows I've been lucky enough to meet a few good ones in the last little while.

Whatever it is, it's just one more piece of why the thought of leaving is a whole lot of hard.

Which, of course, is exactly what I asked for.