A Break in the Back-blog

Howdy folks.

You know, I'm sitting here, almost twelve hours on the nose from settling in on a five-day Trans-Siberian train trip, and I'm still struggling with a way to express to anyone just how much I have loved the last four weeks of my petty little existence. And it's only getting more exciting.

Now, I realize the tone of the last couple little notes I jotted down (yeah, they're there, so don't forget to read 'em, if you care to) was a bit mopey, and the one I'll eventually put up after this might have a little of that flavor too, but I just want all of you folks out there to know that I am indeed having the time of my life.

And I want you know that I'm going to hold off throwing anything else up on here until this great trip is good and done, bahahahaa! Sorry!

More to come after I jump over to Moscow and back!

And Now... Intermission. Please Enjoy the Catharsis and an Ice-Cold (Adult) Beverage

Ah, the holidays have come and gone once again—the holiday season in America, that is. For the Chinese, the holidays are just beginning, meaning that the semester break is upon us, and it is time to escape into the vast, waiting world.

In my head, all the pieces seem in place. It has all the look of a fantasy ready to be realized. So this should be a time of great excitement, yes? This time that I’ve been most looking toward since the moment I touched down in Beijing?

Of course, all is not always as it should be.

Despite all the best efforts of my friends in Anqing, western and Chinese alike, Christmas just never felt… like Christmas. Not this year. Like I’ve said, I just could not help but be reminded of all those who were so far away and so dearly missed, at that time of year above all others. The gloom that settled over me this Christmas was unlike anything I’ve ever felt. It wasn’t debilitating, it didn’t even dull my mood that much. But it hung a little heavier each day, with the tenacious fingers of a climber scrabbling for a hold when his life depends on finding it. Really, now, truly--unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Not loneliness. Not homesickness. And until these last days, I still didn’t have it shaken.

I do think some of it had to do with the commercial mockery of Christmas that I saw here. Not that it was in any way intentional on the part of the Chinese—in fact I found their efforts to understand the holiday quite charming. I just realized that the Christmas I saw them trying to celebrate was a reflection of the image we must be exporting from America and other parts of the world where Christians observe the holiday, and it saddens me. But there was certainly more to it than that.

Now, New Year’s day has passed, and my malaise manifested itself physically as a nasty malady for a few days. Since that’s been behind me, my mood has moved into slightly more thoughtful territory. With school done for a bit, and China and more at my beck and call (Yes, just so you know, I have now hiked the Great Wall; there will be pictures soon enough. Rest assured it was everything I hoped it could be and more, like much of the past three weeks has been, but I can’t talk about all that yet because it’s too damn cheerful for the tone of this filler essay on my bout with the moody blues.), I just can’t get my head right to have as good a time as I want to. It’s as if a switch has been thrown in my head, and where 2008 was mostly carefree, 2009 is careworn.

I just can’t stop thinking of what’s coming. Now that what I was so looking forward to has arrived, I can’t stop looking too far ahead. And I hate it.

With half the year done, I can see the end of my stay in China clear as daylight, and I wonder—have I done what I set out to do? Have I done enough?

Certainly, I have done much since I came here of which I can be proud, but am I pleased with it? With my effort? Am I pleased with myself, the challenges I’ve met and overcome, the things I’ve learned and done?

I think the answer to that is no. Not a resounding one, mind you. But still no.
Or perhaps, more appropriately, not yet.

Half over is only one way of looking at things. Yeah, I remember now.

I still have time.

(Just so you know, the day I jotted this down in my notebook I was in a foul mood, and once I finished, it seemed almost instantaneously erased. Writing is a funny thing. And—heaven help us—more is on the way, so sit tight, sports fans!)

It’s Thursday Night, And You Know What That Means… It’s Christmas Time

Wow. Christmas is (was, I know, I know—this is rather late, but please, bear with me) here. I mean that just the way it sounds, Christmas is HERE, in China, in Anqing, and boy is it strange, for so many reasons. The first and foremost of said reasons being that none of those folks with whom I would so dearly love to be at Christmas time seem to be HERE.

Now, that is not to say that I did not delight in Christmas dinner with my fast friends, the fellow foreign teachers from the other campus (bonus points for alliteration?) and the subsequent, radically awkward church service we attended (more on these later). But it does mean that the people I usually feel the need to be near at Christmas were all notably absent.

My first Christmas experience actually came several days before, when I agreed to be present at a private school’s Christmas function. It was not the school at which I teach, but seeing how they behaved, how they enthusiastically performed the few Christmas carols they knew, how they donned Santa caps (EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE, had a Santa hat)… all of it made me think about how much they recognized the commercial side of Christmas, and how little they knew of the real story behind it. But from the questions they asked, I also got the impression that they wanted to know more, from a purely informational standpoint.

I didn’t have the opportunity to do so at the time, but it set in my head what I would do for the coming week with my students. Yeah, you guessed it. Time to talk about Christmas. Real Christmas.

It made for a strange lesson, to be sure, drawing pictures of Santa’s face and Christmas trees on the board, then putting a cross next to them, and asking if any of them knew what it was. A few said “Jesu,” of course… but a precious few at that. It seemed to me that all most of them knew of Christmas had to do with trees and presents and the enigmatic “Christmas Father.” Needless to say, I did my best to supply them with a little… additional info… all the while bearing in mind I probably needed to keep it really impersonal to avoid getting chunked in the clink. Of course, as I fumbled about with a way to explain words like “commercial” (at one point resorting to running around the room and striking a pose with my water bottle whilst—yeah, I said it, whilst—yelling, “SO GOOD!”), I realized that I also had to explain concepts much more basic, like the idea of something being sacred, and the idea of celebrating peace.

Truth be told, I have no idea how much of it any of them were able to grasp. I’d like to believe a little, but in the end I think it mostly just made me feel better.
It was later that week, when the day finally came, that I and three other members of Anqing’s meager contingent of foreigners sought out Christmas dinner together (well, it was Chinese food, but like we always say, it’s the thought that counts). Addendum: I have since learned that Anqing’s food leaves much, much, MUCH to be desired. It was good to be with each other, though; very. And afterward came the reaaaally exciting part—when the married couple and I took a risk and found a Chinese church!

As for what we encountered there… well…

You know, rather than explain in words, I believe I’ll elect to have these pictures, and possibly this video, if it chooses to work, do all the talking.


Oh tannenbaum...


The Christmas Feast!


Not what we expected...


Quite a congregation... now if they would tithe...


Standing room only!


I leave you this time with an aside, as I’m sure you’re well aware that Christmas day has long since passed. Having been without either regular internet or adequate time (or focus, or discipline, or whatever you want to call it… it’s no secret that I’ve been rather happily distracted of late) since those days shortly following Christmas, I hope you will forgive me a brief backlog of entries (backblog?) that I must now dump on you post-haste, forthwith, heretofore, what have you. That is to say, sorry. But you’ll just have to deal with the last month in one big fat lump. And that should get us back up to speed.
But for now—zaijian! (Chinese for “toodles!”)

Author's Note: Title shamelessly (and probably sacrilegiously, sorry folks) lifted from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU.

Yeah. It's Christmas time.

[The video was supposed to be here, but it's being finicky, so it might make it up later, or it might not. Bleh.]